Forgive me Lord

Been struggling through so many things lately.  What is right?  What is wrong?

Are there grays, or just black and whites?

I understand that we are ALL at a different place in our lives.

We have all had different experiences, and crossed paths with different people,that have formed us into the unique creatures that we are. But say we all put the same label on ourselves.  Say, perhaps, the label that says “I am a Christian”.   Then are there not “acceptable guidelines” in how we are to behave?  Yes!  It is lined out in the Bible.

Philippians 4:8 says:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

So, if I am a Christian, I would try to think on, or do these things.  Right?

(Man, I am really feeling convicted at this moment)

So, in a public setting, I think  that those attributes we should even be more aware of, and not drop our guards, no matter what.

(more conviction)

Aren’t we as Christians being told by one another, and our Pastors to “take off our mask”, “Be more REAL”, “Be genuine”

What about the warnings to always be on guard in case the evil one gets a foothold in our lives.

What about those (like kids, or other believers who are not yet mature in their faith, or even more so, unbelievers) who are watching us.  They see our actions.  They hear our words.

(MORE Conviction)

So do we boast like the unbelievers about our evil?  Do we cause others to stumble so that we can look, or act, or sound “cool”

(I am swimming in conviction on all this)

This is NOT about us.  In behaving like the world, we are tearing down the precious name of Jesus.  Jesus.  You remember HIM.  He grieved so deeply for our sins, that HE took those sins to HIS cross and died for them..for us.

Oh Lord.  How can I continue sinning?  How can I continue to pound those nails into your hands.  How can I keep placing that crown of thorns on your head?

Forgive me Lord.  Forgive me Lord.  Forgive me Lord.


Oh, to have the Lord say these things about me!

Numbers 12: 1 Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman.2 And they said, “Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also?” And the Lord heard it.3 Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth.4 And suddenly the Lord said to Moses and to Aaron and Miriam, “Come out, you three, to the tent of meeting.” And the three of them came out.5 And the Lord came down in a pillar of cloud and stood at the entrance of the tent and called Aaron and Miriam, and they both came forward.6 And HE said, “Hear my words: If there is a prophet among you, I the Lord make myself known to him in a vision; I speak with him in a dream.7 Not so with my servant Moses. He is faithful in all my house.8 With him I speak mouth to mouth, clearly, and not in riddles, and he beholds the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?”9 And the anger of the Lord was kindled against them, and he departed.

10 When the cloud removed from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous,t like snow. And Aaron turned toward Miriam, and behold, she was leprous.11 And Aaron said to Moses, “Oh, my lord, do not punish ust because we have done foolishly and have sinned.12 Let her not be as one dead, whose flesh is half eaten away when he comes out of his mother’s womb.”13 And Moses cried to the Lord, “O God, please heal her—please.”14 But the Lord said to Moses, “If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be shamed seven days? Let her be shut outside the camp seven days, and after that she may be brought in again.”15 So Miriam was shut outside the camp seven days, and the people did not set out on the march till Miriam was brought in again.

Aging sucks…or does it?

Last Monday night was the scariest night of my life, thus far.

I hurt my hip/back while sitting awkwardly in the car as a passenger.  Didn’t bother me as I was sitting, and not even when I got out of the car really.  The pain began in the middle of the night.  I won’t go into the details, but I did wonder if I would end up in a wheel chair.

It was a long night.  Thank God for a caring husband.

In the morning I went to see my physical therapist boss.  He got me to a point of comfort, and said “let’s see”.

Let’s see.  Let’s see.

Let’s wait and see if it is a disc.  Let’s wait and see if it was just a muscle spasm that pulled everything out of whack. Will it require surgery?

While sitting and icing, I suddenly felt old.  Really old.  I felt afraid.  Would my husband resent having to care for me?  I had thoughts, really downer thoughts spinning my head.I was feeling overwhelmed.  Getting old really sucks.  Get me out of this body.  Yes, a big pity party was going on. “God, why would you allow this to happen to me”?  “Why now?”

Oh…God…Yes, GOD.  Maybe HE has a purpose in all this.  Aren’t these bodies just jars of clay?  Isn’t the physical body dying from the minute we are born.  If we stayed young, and healthy and vibrant and strong we would not long for HIM to take us home.  And aren’t there benefits to aging?  What are they?

So, out of my pity party I walked, and into thankfulness I crawled.  Crawled onto my knees in appreciation for the many blessings.  Yes, the blessings of aging.

What are they?  I think for each person they are different.  Do a study on what the Bible says on aging.  Stop for a moment and consider all the good in your life.  Makes the aches and pains of this world a bit trivial, doesn’t it?

My study, and what I found out

1 Chron.23:1 – When David was old, he made his son King. – Ah, David retired.  Retirement is a benefit!

Job 12:12 – “Wisdom is with the aged men, With long life is understanding.”- Wisdom and understanding.  I sure want more of those!