Break my heart for what breaks yours

So much sadness. So much grief.

I have been praying over the church requests, as well as other requests from friends and family.  My heart is heavy.
So many loved ones dying.  So much pain and suffering.  So many dealing with personal, and community hurts.  So many!!!

Lord, I want to focus on all the joys.  You tell us to give glory to you, and to rejoice in all things.  I am trying.  I am crying out to you Lord, to lift this oppression.

Is my heart breaking for what breaks yours, or am I wallowing in sadness, taking my eyes off all you want me to see in the midst of the suffering.  I am not sure.  How can I be?

I look to you Jesus, and I give it to you. Love on those who are hurting.

Direct my words, actions and prayers.
Lead me in the path of righteousness, for YOUR names sake.


Old parents, young child.

I was a surprise child.  5 kids in my family, and I was the last.  My oldest sister is 21 years older than I am…old enough to be my Mom.  In fact, her son is only 15 months younger than me, and we grew up like  brother and sister.  My Mom was 44 when she had me.  My parents remained “young” for so long.  Young friends, young child, lots of activity.  Unfortunately with that comes the reality that they would never see me become a grandma, nor would I get to have them around most of my life.  Really, It sucks.  But you know, they were both ALIVE when they were living.  My parents had very few health issues until the end.  My Mom died at 84 after a hard year, and my Dad at 90, with only a few difficult months.  I have so much to be thankful for, but so sad for my kids who loved my parents, and didn’t get them for long!

Mark 6:30-56 -ESV

Jesus Feeds Five Thousand

30  The apostles returned to Jesus from their ministry tour and told HIM all they had done and taught. 31 Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and HIS apostles didn’t even have time to eat.


32  So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone. 33 But many people recognized them and saw them leaving, and people from many towns ran ahead along the shore and got there ahead of them. 34 Jesus saw the huge crowd as HE stepped from the boat, and HE had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So HE began teaching them many things.


35  Late in the afternoon HIS disciples came to HIM and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. 36 Send the crowds away so they can go to the nearby farms and villages and buy something to eat.”



37  But Jesus said, “You feed them.” “With what?” they asked. “We’d have to work for months to earn enough money to buy food for all these people!”



38  “How much bread do you have?” HE asked. “Go and find out.” They came back and reported, “We have five loaves of bread and two fish.”


39  Then Jesus told the disciples to have the people sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they sat down in groups of fifty or a hundred.


41  Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, HE kept giving the bread to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people. He also divided the fish for everyone to share. 42 They all ate as much as they wanted, 43 and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftover bread and fish. 44 A total of 5,000 men and their families were fed from those loaves!


Jesus Walks on Water

45  Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that HIS disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while HE sent the people home. 46 After telling everyone good-bye,HE went up into the hills by Himself to pray.


47  Late that night, the disciples were in their boat in the middle of the lake, and Jesus was alone on land. 48 He saw that they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling against the wind and waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. He intended to go past them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the water, they cried out in terror, thinking HE was a ghost. 50 They were all terrified when they saw HIM.


But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” HE said. “Take courage! I am here!” 51 Then HE climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed, 52 for they still didn’t understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in.


53  After they had crossed the lake, they landed at Gennesaret. They brought the boat to shore 54 and climbed out. The people recognized Jesus at once, 55 and they ran throughout the whole area, carrying sick people on mats to wherever they heard HE was. 56 Wherever he went—in villages, cities, or the countryside—they brought the sick out to the marketplaces. They begged HIM to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed.

What have I done

I was just in my daily Bible reading, and was reading the above passage.  Vs. 34 just jumped out at me.    34 Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.


I have used this “sheep without a shepherd” phrase so much lately.  The lead pastor of our church, along with all the other pastors & elders, left our church, and started a new one.  Sure, some followed, but the mass of sheep were left without leadership, without a pastor.    What happened?  Because of a few, the entire body has been ripped apart.  The sheep are left to wander.  Terrible, hurt, sad, deceived, overwhelmed, angered, grieved…I have felt all of these things over the past 4-9 months. (It has been a long process).  Have I wallowed in it?  At times.  But the truth of it is, that Jesus has felt compassion on me, (and others), and HE has begun to teach us many things. 

So much of the church,  here in Sisters, in Oregon, in America and around the world, is hurting.  We are like sheep who need our Shepherd.  Jesus comes and HE teaches us many things.  He has compassion on us, and HE feed us, meeting all of our daily needs.

Oh, how HE loves us so!

Oh, how I love HIM so!



Walking with giants

Walking with giants.  – Pastor Chris Jackson

You look like your associations. You know that, right?

It’s an undeniable fact that you and I will eventually begin to resemble our closest friends and confidantes. If they are wise, we will become wise (Proverbs 13:20), but if they are of a lesser character, they will damage us (1 Corinthians 15:33).

God wants you to walk with giants, and develop a giant-sized foundation of character and integrity to build your life on. He wants you to have a giant-sized heart of compassion and concern for the people around you. And one of the primary ways to walk with giants is to spend daily time in God’s Word. The men and women of faith who have gone before us have cast some large shadows that we would we wise to emulate. If we’ll turn to them through daily Bible reading and journaling, we’ll eventually begin to look like them.

  • We’ll have the holiness of Moses, and the passion of David.
  • We’ll have the purity of Esther, and the determination of Paul.
  • Or better yet, we’ll start to resemble Jesus Christ.

In Acts 4:13 it says, “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”

Who have we been with? Who are we walking with?

People can tell if we’ve been walking with giants, or merely strolling along with the characters from our favorite television shows. Let’s opt for giants.

My response to the above post:

I don’t know how it is that God ALWAYS uses you to speak to my heart. Your short little blog brought me to tears. In the midst of a NASTY church divorce right now, I am struggling with this very thing. WHO do I trust. Who do I spend time with. Both “sides” have godly, wonderful people who I love, who are my family. How can I choose? The truth is, both sides have wonderful people who are believing lies of others. Both sides have taken up offense, and are attacking their own. Instead of doing battle FOR the Lord, we are battling against the Lord. In the midst of this battle though, we have really begun to see whose hearts are pure, and just. Who has not become angry with God, or their brethren, but who have come to a deeper place of prayer and study, so that they will remain obedient to the word. Although we are grieving the loss of our closest friends, our heart rejoices that God is using this to cause up to fall more deeply in love with HIM, and to rely on HIM more, and to trust HIM completely!
Love you and Jess and the girls so much and wish we could spend more time with you!
You are in our prayers, as you are in the front lines, leading your church!

Asking: Whatever you Wish

“If you abide in Me

and My words abide in you,

ask whatever you wish

and it will be done for you.”

John 15:7 NASB

Whatever you wish.

I like that. A lot.

If that isn’t a reason to pray, I don’t know what is. Whatever I wish…

Well I wish for lots and lots of things. Health, wealth, and happiness to start with. A better body, a beautiful house in the country, a new oven, a vacation in Switzerland, and all my family happy and healthy and wealthy too.

I do the whole wishing thing really well.

But hold on… wait a minute. What is that I learned in Hermeneutics?[1] Something about words in context? Okay, okay, I’ll find it… oh, here it is,

Rule #12 : Interpret a word in relation to its sentence and context.[2]

And another one,

Rule #22: A doctrine cannot be considered biblical unless it sums up and includes all that the Scriptures say about it.[3]

Oh darn. Does that mean I may not be able to wish my will on God?

Spanning out to the verses before and after, I see words about abiding and bearing fruit and glorifying God and keeping His commandments.

Uh oh, where did wishing go?

When I read this seemingly cross-stitchable verse again, I see what it really says.

I get hung up on the if.


You abide in Me.

There are, it would seem, conditions for all my wishing and wanting and getting what I want.

I’m beginning to think this might not be so easy after all.

What, for example, is this thing called abiding?

I looked it up…

To remain or dwell. To be united with him, one with him in heart, mind and will. Steadfast.[4]

It means to remain in His perfect will at all cost.[5]

That’s intense!

At all cost?

With all my heart, mind, will?

Sounds a little like when Jesus prayed, “…not as I will, but Thou wilt” (Mt 26:39) or “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done…” (Mt 6:10)

What about my wish?

I go back to my less and less favorite verse and find another if…

My words abide in you…

He wants His words to abide in me, to penetrate my will and my intellect.

To change the way I think, the way I feel, the way I wish.

Then, He says, go ahead and ask.


Anything that comes to mind while you are united in Him, yielded to Him at all cost; so fully absorbed in Him that your heart and mind and will are all mixed up in His.

That’s the way to wish.

And when we do that, my dear wishing sisters, He promises that,

It will be done for you.

From a heart full of wishing,



[1]A fancy term for How to Study Your Bible

[2] Studying, Interpreting, and Applying the Bible, by Walter Hendrichsen and Gayle Jackson. They articulate 24 “rules” for the correct interpretation of the Scriptures- really good!

[3] ibid (which, of course, as everyone knows, means same as above)

[4] The Complete WordStudy Dictionary, New Testament, Spiros Zodhiates, Th.D.

[5] The Open Bible, pg. 1032 notes

By my friend – Diane   Sept. 2, 2011

Oh Diane,
Once again God uses your words to speak to my heart. HE wants nothing more than for us to ABIDE in HIM. Can you imagine that God almighty “wishes” for us to draw near to HIM. That HE longs to please us. He asks so little, and we ask so much! HIS desire is for us, and our desire is….for us as well. Sigh! Oh, to long to truly abide in HIM for HIS desires, not ever thinking of our own. Then we would have everything. All we could ever ask for and more. How beautiful!
Love you sister!